She's growing up...sniff, sniff

Two weeks ago was Lyla's birthday. Mom and Dad were here and they were going to spend the night with us on Friday night. Grace was invited to spend the night at a friends' house at the last minute though. She chose to spend the night at the friends' house rather than with Mimi and Papoo. That was the the first sign of the weekend that she's growing up. Then, the next morning she didn't want to come home either and stayed until lunchtime. When she did finally come home she asked me if I had ever heard of "Justice". Justice is a clothing store for preteen girls. I've never shopped there because the prices are more than I spend on clothes for the girls. I told Grace that I did know of Justice and asked her why she asked me that.

She said, "Because my friends' closet is sooooo big! You should see how big her closet is. And she has the cutest clothes and they are all from a store called Justice. Can you buy my clothes from Justice from now on because I love her clothes. I mean, I LOVE HER CLOTHES."

I immediately thought that we are entering into a new phase. I'm envisioning that the conversations we will have in the future will sound something like this...
Grace: But everyone in the 4th grade has an Ipod touch Mom. Why can't I have one?
Grace: But, everyone in the 9th grade has a Coach purse Mom. Why can't I have one?
Grace: But, everyone in the 10th grade gets a new car when they turn 16 Mom. Why can't I?

It makes me sad because I hate to see her start to go through the feelings of not feeling like she's good enough if she doesn't have what everyone else has. It's going to be an uphill battle if we continue to live in this area. The majority of the population here is wealthy and has the best of everything. We will definitely face the battle of teaching the girls that material things are not what is important in this life.

I feel her pain though. I remember being in high school and really wanting Timberline boots because everyone else had them. They were almost $100 though and that was 15 years ago! I didn't get them, of course, and I survived. But, I still struggle with wanting what everyone else around here has...a bigger house, granite countertops, new car, trendy clothes, shoes to go with each outfit, etc. That's what it's like around here.

I do try my best to continually remind myself that even if we had the extra money to buy more things, that isn't the best use of our money. Our life group just finished reading a book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. I would recommend that every christian reads this book. It really makes you think about how you live your life. It talks about how American christians don't give their all to God and have a "crazy love" for God that we should. He talks about how we are lukewarm and are only christians when it's conveniant for us. We give the money we have leftover and don't make sacrifices because we love Him so much that we have to do more. He talks a lot about downsizing the way we live, giving more money to others, giving more time to help others, etc. That goes right along with fighting the thoughts that come when you see others that have more things or "nicer" things than I do. I know I have more than I need. I am blessed to be able to stay home parttime and take care of my kids while they are little. I am blessed to have a nice house to have my friends come to visit in. I am blessed to be able to buy my children clothes at Target (not Justice) each season of the year. I am blessed to have a nice minivan (even though it's used) to drive around in. I am blessed to have great family and friends and a great church to raise my children in.

I want to set a good example for Grace and Lyla. I want them to learn that the things we have don't make us who we are. I want them to learn that what's important is how we live our lives to glorify God.

So, Tuesday night Eric had a meeting and I just didn't feel like sitting at home by myself with the girls. I decided to take the girls to the mall. I had a 15% off coupon for Children's Place, another store for kids clothes with very reasonable prices. I wanted to get Lyla some summer pj's and a couple of other things. When we got there Grace said, "Is Justice in the mall?". Well, yes it is. We went into Justice. She immediately started picking out the outfits she liked. She also started picking things up and saying, "My friend has this". The outfit she picked out would have cost $60!!! For 1 shirt and 1 skirt! That is just crazy to me. I really wanted to buy them for her though. I knew it would teach her the wrong lesson though. I convinced her to go next door to Children's Place to just look and see what they have before we make a decision.

We walked in and saw a table of cute tops and skirts that were on sale for $5 each! $5 for the top and $5 for the bottom. I told her she could get 6 of these outfits for the same price as the 1 outfit at Justice. Luckily, I don't think we are to the point with her where she is looking at the name brand alone. She honestly just likes the clothes for the clothes. So, after looking and comparing different outfits she agreed that it was smarter to get more things for the same amount of money. I also talked to her about the importance of using your money for things other than clothes, like helping other people. I think it was a good lesson for her. She decided she wants to buy a teddy bear and give it to a little kid that needs a new toy. So, she picked out an outfit which was considerably less than the one at Justice. We ended up getting a whole outfit for Grace with flip flops and sunglasses. Then we got Lyla a pair of capris, a pair of shorts, flip flops, sunglasses and new pj's. The total price for everything was $53!!!! When I was paying I pointed out to Grace the difference in what we got for less money than the one outfit at Justice. Crazy!

So, I hope we are doing a good job of teaching them the right thing about money and materialism. It's going to be hard. It's hard for me.

It's sad to me though that she's growing up and beginning to face things like peer pressure too. It also shows she growing up that she is starting to choose to be with friends over family. Plus, she is beginning to want to watch older kid shows now instead of cartoons. She wants to watch the Disney teenager shows. I think most of them are bad examples for them to watch and it's hard to tell her she can't watch them when her friend comes over and says she watches them all the time. I know it's a natural progression. What makes me sad is the fact that I can't shelter her from the pressures, fears and heartaches of this world if she's out there and not home with me. I guess that's what prayer is for!